What a Long Strange Year It’s Been…

I am a jumble of emotions today. I am so happy for Kyle as it’s his last day of radiation and so sad I cant be there so see him ring the bell of completion. Tonight, i get to hold him in my arms again and have him home and in a couple more weeks…permanently. I have also never been more grateful for the speed at which a year can fly by. Also, I will never take another day for granted. I am making a list of things to do when he is completely done with all this: Travel, day trips, new experiences, etc. I will enjoy every second I have on this earth with my family from now on as much as I can. I’m sorry it took this type of situation to be such a wake up call, but I have heard it and will make the most of the rest of my days here.
I am also so thankful for the people in my life. My friends, my family and even the strangers that have heard of what we’ve been going through and have offered prayers or sent written support. There are so many to list that have been supportive, kind, generous and loving.
Thank you Doug for being a great father and taking such wonderful care of him. Thank you Kerry, Sherri, Jessica, Elizabeth, Cherie, Christin, TammyLynn, Beckey, Susan, Susan, Sue, Sarah, Maria, Maria(and so many more I haven’t listed) for being there when I was a sobbing mess and needed to be held up or bitch-slapped virtually (guess who that was) and told to stay positive and that he would beat this.
Thank you Mary for talking to me that day and giving me that hope I needed to grasp onto. That assurance I needed to hear. That has kept me grounded this whole time.
Thank you Leo for being so understanding in all this and the loving son and little brother. You always have a hug for me when I was sad and always had a way to make me smile. Thank you for being so encouraging to your brother and helping him when he needed it.
Thank you Sandra for coming up and helping with hospital stays and phone calls. Thank you Roger and Colleen for all you have done too. I love you all.
Thank you to my Ryan for being my best friend and loving husband and always holding me when i collapsed and broke down through all this, all the while reassuring me he would be fine and he was strong and would get through this. Giving me strength when I needed it so desperately. Making me laugh and smile when i felt like i couldn’t. I love you dearly!
Most of all, Thank you Kyle. You have been so strong through all this and so brave. Somehow you always seemed to have a smile even when you felt like utter crap. I will make this all up to you, all that you missed this past year, I promise. Thank you for being so strong and wonderful..even you told me “i’m fine..Ill be fine!” when i was sad and scared.
It’s not all done yet but we only have a few weeks till it’s all done. Thank you God, thank you so much.

#teamdoingit

(WARNING-CORNBALL POST INCOMING): I woke at 3am and couldn’t go back to sleep. Tossed and turned some, then, picked up my phone and started going through facebook. I saw Stacey‘s post from last night wearing her tiara and that stunning triumphant smile she has, and even though she was exhausted, she did the thing. My brain started listing off the friends that do it every day despite shit days, sore bodies, hideous weather and screaming kids: Stacey, Meredith, Craig, Christin, Jennifer, Elizabeth, Fergus, Adam, Hugh…and many others. These people inspire me…you my friends. So, I said to myself… “Get up and do the thing even though its 4:30 in the morning. What the hell else are you going to do this second…and the only magic that will make you healthier and slimmer is willpower”. So I said, fuck it, got up, put on sneakers (yes still in my nightgown) and got on the treadmill for half an hour. This is the ugly picture..rats nest hair, sweaty, no bra and very thirsty (forgot the water bottle on counter), but, I did the thing. I know it wasnt for an hour, I know I havent done it every day but I did it today. I have to take it a day at a time. Like going through this past year..one day at a time because looking too far ahead was crushing and made me want to just go to crawl into a hole and pull a rock over the top. Each day I make an effort to eat a little better, move a little more. I didnt gain it all in a day, I’m sure as hell not going to lose it all in a day.
 
Well, anyway, I did the thing. #teamdoingit #healthybody20170131_050147